The Sandoval Signpost

An Independent Monthly Newsmagazine Serving the Community since 1989

ASK UNCLE DUFFY

Uncle Duffy’s
punny jokes

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a fly flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the fly flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the fly squirted out into his bucket. It was in one ear and out the udder.

A team of scientists were cloning monkeys when one of them blew up. The researchers are now trying to determine what went wrong by sifting through the rhesus pieces.


Lowell, Massachusetts, is an old New England mill town. Many of the mills have been declared National Historical Sites and are included in a federal park. The problem was what to do with the other mills and how to attract more tourists to the area. One bright young marketeer pointed out that Germans like to travel with their dogs and that this was difficult in the U.S. Why not make the mills into canine hotels? he suggested. The plan was adopted on a trial basis, but not without some skepticism. Several months later, the skeptics approached the young man to ask how the experiment was going.
"Just listen!" he said. "The mills are alive with the hounds of Munich!"

A psychiatrist is doing his rounds with a couple of students. They look in on one patient, and the psychiatrist says to his students, "Sometimes this fellow thinks he's a temptress in a Bizet opera, but today, as you can see from his goose-stepping, he thinks he's the World War II head of the Luftwaffe. What condition do you think he's suffering from?"
The first student replies, "Is he a paranoid schizophrenic with a multiple-personality disorder?"
The second student says, "No, surely he just doesn't know whether he's Carmen or Goering."

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The opinions and advice printed here do not represent the opinions of the Sandoval Signpost. In fact we’re not real sure they represent the opinions of anyone.

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