On the Importance of Walking
• Walking can add minutes to your life. This en-
ables you at 95 years old to spend an extra five
months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.
• My grandmother started walking five miles a day
when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we
don't know where the heck she is.
• The only reason I would take up exercising is so
that I could hear heavy breathing again.
• I joined a health club last year, spent about 400
bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently, you
have to go there.
• I have to exercise early in the morning before my
brain figures out what I'm doing.
• I like long walks, especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
• I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach
covers them.
• The advantage of exercising every day is that you
die healthier.
• If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start
with a small country.
• But, mainly, I don't exercise because it makes the
ice jump right out of my glass.
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