AUNTIE
ALISON
Things to Do in an Elevator
• When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap
them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
• Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile,
and go back for more.
• Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push
the wrong ones.
• Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend.
After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's
your day been?"
• Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick
it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
• Take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
• Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone
gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
• Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to
play.
• Ask, "Did you feel that?"
• Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
• When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's
okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
• Swat at flies that don't exist.
• Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering,
"Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
• Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside,
ask, "Got enough air in there?"
• Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.
• Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
• Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
• Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then
announce, "I have new socks on."
• Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce
to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"
• Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.
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